


Glorified Birthmarks

by soukokuforlife14



Series: INKtober2018 prompts that I basically stole (BecuzKinktoberfreakedmeout) [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drunk Sex but it’s a fade to black, F/M, He just is, I did it for a FB group challenge, Inktober2018 Day 8 Prompt Star, M/M, Soulmate AU, Stephen Strange is so in love, Steve Rogers is a dick, Tony is in love and feels bad about it, i stole the prompts for writing, no bashing but I ain't nice to the guy, set post iw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 19:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16393448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soukokuforlife14/pseuds/soukokuforlife14
Summary: Day 8: Star.-----Tony was left by the one person who was supposed to love him. And Stephen wishes it hadn't been Steve.





	Glorified Birthmarks

**Author's Note:**

> Bahahaha who said I was keeping these in the same fandom? Or order? Or that I'd write them all?? (Inktober prompts that I stole to write about instead) 
> 
>  
> 
> Heyooo peeps of the marvel fandom. I'm terrified just puttin that out there. I worked really hard on this and I hope you guys enjoy!!!

Your soulmate was your destined and this was decided by a mark identical between two people in the exact same place. It was a known fact that this person with whom you shared a particular shape of darkened or lighter skin is decidedly what confirms ‘the one’. The person you are meant to be with. The person that completes you.

Tony knows first hand that such things are a fucking scam.

This realization slammed into him nearly as hard as Steve’s shield did. The edge forced into the arc reactor. Busting through layers upon layers of metal designed to withstand heavy blows but stood no chance it seemed against such magnitude of force. But Tony hadn’t fought back and maybe if he had he wouldn’t have witnessed the dead set look in those blue eyes that had once looked to him so lovingly in the past before that damnable frisbee was shoved into him. Had once eased him out of panic attacks and would surely now find a place as the source of his nightmares.

Tony walked away from that fight with cracked ribs and a demolished heart that he knew he wasn’t going to be capable of fixing. Not after Pepper and definitely not after Steve. What had he been thinking though? Honestly?

Soulmates didn’t exist. The mark on his body was nothing but a birthmark that happened to look identical to someone else’s. It carried no feelings. It was just a discolored place of flesh. Why had he believed in such a sham? Why had he actually thought someone could love him? Wholly him? Only him?

Pepper had loved him, she truly had but she couldn’t fix him and they both knew it. They both knew he wasn’t going to be mended by anyone’s hands but his own. He just didn’t know how and she didn’t know how to help him. Steve however ensured that he wouldn’t be putting himself back together anytime soon. That what haunts him will only be exacerbated by his newfound loneliness and sense of well deserved abandonment.

Tony walked away from that fight knowing that the promise of a soulmate was a delusion born of a desire to feel whole with someone else and that wasn’t how it worked. A person is already born whole. Such a thing so clear to him now that Steve had actually taken more than he’d given.

* * * *

Stephen’s soulmate had loved him. She did. She had tried so hard to fix him when he broke apart but he didn’t want her to fix him. He didn’t want want her help if she couldn’t _heal him._

Finally though she gave in. Stephen always looks back wondering what may have happened had he not been such a bastard to her. Christine hadn’t deserved the treatment he’d given her especially when she attempted to give him so much. Especially after he'd taken so much from her but given nothing in return. But as such is the past and he can’t change it.

He did apologize, albeit clumsily, quite frankly very badly, still she seemed to appreciate it even if she had moved on. Which Stephen found that he didn’t mind. At least she was no longer estranged to him - they were trying out friendship - and he could stop feeling so guilty about how badly he’d hurt her.

Besides he’d never actually believed ‘the proof of his soulmate’ to be anything more than a currently unexplained anomaly or a glorified birthmark. Certainly not an indicator to who you’re supposed to spend your life with.

However some part of him was willing to believe upon meeting one Tony Stark. Watching him over the course of more than a million different realities. Learning about him. Trading insults with each other which slowly became fond over a million different timelines. Fighting alongside him.

Fighting _for_ him.

Dying for him.

Falling for him.

It was a shame really that neither possessed the other’s mark otherwise Stephen would've gladly taken up that roll as Tony’s supposed other half. Besides the fact Tony was very much uninterested in a relationship that progressed further than friendship and considering his past experiences it was no mystery as to why.

Tony’s previous relationships were failures and on top of that he felt with every cell of his being that such failures were his own fault. His own fault for being screwed up. For being fucked in the head, too many nightmares, too insensitive, too sarcastic. His jokes sometimes too cruel. Sometimes too disgusting. Sometimes too much like every other asshole out there.

His insanity too harsh to deal with. His self deprecating attitude too much to handle. His obsession with his suits. His obsession with improving. His obsession with always being better and better. Creating stronger and better tech. Something that can assist him in his mission to fix anything and everything. To save anyone and everyone even when such a thing is an impossibility. The idiot doesn’t care. He defies impossibilities with everything he has. And while that trait is more often than not frustrating it is also something to admire in the man.

However that also means that when Tony fails his self destructive tendencies and his mental state worsens to the point that sometimes Stephen thinks he’ll find the man still, empty whiskey bottles surrounding him. Of course Tony has never done anything of the like but there are moments when his brown eyes are so dark they could rival the deep blackness of the depths of the ocean, the furthest reaches of space. So distant. Right there yet Stephen can never hope to reach him.

It’s in those moments that Stephen thinks he may just give up completely. Such times are short and are quickly pushed aside, making way for his fake smile and the rough edge of his lie forming jagged movements and stuttered breaths. Such things so minute everyone else seems to completely miss all the signs. Which is truly astounding to Stephen. As they could very well be huge, neon lights that one would have to be blind to not see.

But what attracts the sorcerer to such a broken person is the heart in his chest. The conviction in his actions. The bravery in his strength. The kindness in his eyes. The brilliance of his mind. The magnificence of his capabilities. The power of his person as a whole was what caught Stephen’s attention and kept it.

What he loves about Tony is the multiple cups of coffee and no shame over it. It's those few occasions when the man genuinely smiles and it touches his eyes. It's the times Peter comes over and Tony is all too happy to modify his suits. Show him how to manage technical things. It's the moments when the genius gets lost in explanations of his creations speaking a language Stephen can't ever seem to decipher. It's the boldness of his words and following actions. It's the love for machines and general appreciation for anything extraordinary (except for magic that is field of science that Tony cannot for the life of him comprehend and vehemently _refuses_ to consider that it's not science). It's his sarcasm and witty comebacks. It's his stupid nicknames that he even got Peter to use. It's all of him.

It’s a smorgasbord of moments and emotions collected and saved over the exponential amount of time Stephen has shared with Tony that makes him wish he could’ve been born with a deformed star on his hand or that Tony had been born with a disfigured something on his lower back. But he was not given such a privilege and the man was very much unwilling to attempt anymore relationships.

While he understood that, Stephen also couldn't help feeling a sense of disappointment at knowing he’d never stood a chance. At knowing no matter how much he may care Tony would probably never truly believe him. At knowing Tony would never risk himself like that again even if Stephen knows that with him...it's not a risk.

* * * *

Tony had resolved that after Steve he would never pursue another relationship, decided it wasn’t worth it. That the risk was too high. He didn’t want another Pepper or another Steve or another person to name the failure of a relationship after.

But then Titan happened. He’d lost Peter and the Wizard he’d only just begun regarding as an ally, those idiots he'd only just met, literal dust of the people he’d gotten -or had been getting- to know slipped through his fingers. Following that half the universe was reduced to dust along with them. Then fast-forward to beating Thanos, releasing the withheld souls from the stone and reuniting with the kid and...the Wizard. Stephen.

After the events of Thanos’ attack came the work of handling the UN and Rogue Avengers while simultaneously rebuilding in the aftermath of incredible destruction. Through the stress of it all Stephen stood beside him. He hardly noticed when ‘Doctor Strange’ turned into ‘Stephen’. A cold detached ‘Stark’ blossomed into a fond ‘Tony’. When seeing each other was no longer reliant on business rather just a desire to be near the other. When Stephen got close to Peter too. Befriended his AI and even Dum-E. Pepper and Rhodey, even Harley had taken a liking to him. Soon enough the Wizard had found a place among Tony’s little group of favored people. Of people he trusted.

And with the realization that Stephen was important to him came the slow crumble of his resolve.

It wasn't immediate of course. His will growing weaker with each interaction shared between them. Maybe it was on Titan that it began.

No, it wasn't there. On that dreaded place he'd felt betrayed by the man who’d promised not to choose his life over the stone and then he _did._

So then it was after. After Titan and after Thanos.

Maybe it was during the multiple meetings between the UN and Rogue Avengers. Signing the revised Accords that enabled the Avengers a little more freedom but still restricted them. Which had been a massive headache for him over the course of those agonizing several weeks until it was finalized. The conversation he and Steve shared after it had all been finished still occasionally replayed in his head when he's nothing else to think about. When he feels most guilty about everything that happened back then.

- _“Tony.” Was all he’d said, blue eyes fond and soft around the edges and Tony felt like barfing, bile threatening to rise in his throat and spill out of him. They were standing in the hall just outside the meeting room. Steve’s arms at his sides - a prominent detail to Tony - his body language too relaxed in comparison to Tony who stood rigid and tense, fists balled at his sides, nails digging painfully into the deformed mark that was a constant reminder he was unwanted by the one person he'd been promised since birth._

_“What do you want?” He asked and if there’d been a little too much venom in his tone he couldn’t say he felt sorry at the captain’s flinch._

_“I just wanted to talk.” He said._

_“Obviously,” Tony replied dryly, “Would you get on with it? I’m a very busy billionaire in case you forgot.” This time Steve didn’t flinch at his tone rather his lips curved up just slightly as though what he’d said was even remotely amusing. Which he supposed to everyone else it probably was._

_“I just wanted to know how you were doing. We haven't really talked much recently.” Steve said almost nervously which Tony thought was rich all things considered. Not to mention the circumstances surrounding them as of late._

_Tony hummed, “Well I’m sure you can guess after all it's only been how long since I watched Peter turn to dust? It's been how long since I nearly died? Again. At the hands of some psycho alien hellbent on destroying the universe?”_

_Steve was frowning at that point but Tony wasn't done speaking, “It's been how long since you dumped me for my parents murderer?” That earned a wince and then the captain opened his mouth - probably to defend himself saying once again “He’s my friend.” - but Tony didn't care to listen speaking over his former lover saying, “I'm doing great thanks.” And with that he turned on his heel and left Steve alone in that corridor who honestly wasn't alone for that long as the rest of the avengers poured out of the meeting room. Bucky coming up behind him and whisking him away to god knows where. Tony didn't care and he didn't look back to see the pain on Steve’s face because it didn't belong. He wasn't allowed to be hurt. He wasn't the one who got left behind, lied to, betrayed by the one and only person that was always supposed to stand by him. If Tony couldn't even trust his own soulmate how the fuck could he trust anyone else? -_

That conversation left Tony bitter for a solid three days, locking himself into his lab refusing to let anyone in, before Strange somehow brought him back out of his mood. Spent hours with him just talking, helping him forget about Steve and his pitiful attempts at friendliness. Which he never attempted again and Tony still doesn't know why but doesn't appreciate any less. He also brought a different perspective concerning Bucky. He made Tony realize how unfair it was to place sole blame on a man who'd had no control of himself at the time of his parent's deaths. Made him realize Bucky wasn't ever his enemy. Made him realize hating him was as justified as Wanda’s own hatred. Though Tony would argue that point endlessly he understood.

He understood his own brashness in the situation without needing it beat into him. 

Maybe it was then that he'd started falling.  
  
Or perhaps it was during smaller moments. When his presence alone could set Tony at ease when surrounded by people he couldn't consider his friends anymore. The Rogue Avengers were his allies at best and enemies at worst and he wasn't about to let them descend into the worst. Not again. Maybe it was watching Peter’s fascination with Magic and how he binds his technical knowledge with his newly obtained knowledge about The Mystic Arts. Maybe it's Stephen’s respect for Pepper. Maybe it's his newly found friendship with Rhodey. Maybe it's his acceptance of even the free spirited and somewhat terrifying Harley.

Maybe it was simply the fact that the mark on his hand made no difference to Stephen. Never did he ask about it. Never did he stare at it. It was of zero importance to him. Unlike Peter, who’s curiosity often got the better of him.

Stephen didn't make him feel like he was missing something. Unlike everyone else who sometimes glanced at it with pity in their eyes. The color of it staining their expression. But Stephen had never pitied him. That alone was enough to make Tony appreciate the guy.

Whatever it was these cracks in the foundation of his will could only be ignored for so long before he felt the need to distance himself. Which wasn’t difficult his more infrequent visits to the Sanctum easily blamed on how much work he had to deal with. Or when he simply couldn’t leave the project he’d started. Or maybe Peter needed him. However no matter how good his excuses may be for not going to the Wizard said wizard wasn’t deterred and came to him.

Stephen visited at random, sometimes late into the night when Tony is alone in the lab tinkering away the last few logical brain cells he possesses lost to a caffeine high that'll keep him up for hours more. Sometimes in the afternoon when Tony is working on Peter’s suit, modifying it, he'll visit and throw sarcastic remarks and teach Peter something else about magical objects or the like. Even suggesting imbuing the suit with sparkly gold magic to which Tony always instantly declines saying, _“You are not defiling my tech with your weird magician tricks.”_

_“Aww come on Mr. Stark! He says he can make it stronger!”_

_“If you let him touch the suit Peter I’m disowning you.”_

The conversation usually ends there with Peter snapping his mouth shut and Stephen chuckling quietly.

Sometimes he comes by in the morning, opening a sparky ring of gold and stepping through it from the sanctum, his usual cool and collected demeanor about him more subdued. Muted. As though he'd only just gotten up himself and was still piecing together the energy to carry his enormous ego.

Tony finds he enjoys the times he visits in the mornings. Likes seeing Stephen amongst the dancing hues of the morning light peering in through the windows. Likes the tired smiles he wears as if he forgot his sarcasm and usual straight face somewhere in the sanctum. Likes how easily they grace his features in the morning. They're easy to pull out of him. Sometimes just silence is enough and Stephen will smile at him. That quiet and he'd dare-say _fond_ smile.

Tony hates that this is such a prominent thing to him. Hates that he notices it every time and always hopes he'll come back the next morning.

He finds with the passage of time that he wants more from Stephen that he can't be asking for and the sorcerer can't possibly give. He's got a soulmate too. He belongs to someone too. While Tony can't imagine Stephen as someone who would believe such a hoax he also can't see him believing otherwise. After all as children they were raised to believe their soulmate lies with the discolored spot of flesh on their body. That it links them to their permanent partner. For what reason would Stephen have to reject a notion ingrained into him from birth?

That's just it, he wouldn't have one. Period. Stephen has a soulmate and if he hasn't met the person in question they are still out there waiting for him. Just because no one could love Tony didn't mean everyone else experienced such with their partners. Besides it's not like everyone else was a bastard like Tony himself who quite frankly didn't deserve it anyhow. Though, he could believe that Steve Rogers came a close fucking 2nd to him but regardless he was aware that his circumstances were….unique to say the least.

Tony had made a decision. He knew he couldn't and he promised himself he wouldn't act on his emotions.

He broke said promise a week after he'd officially made it to himself. No more denial. No more telling himself he didn't feel a thing. A simple promise to simply not act on them. But even that he couldn't keep.

Came back to the compound hours past midnight and hadn't alerted anyone to his whereabouts since noon of the prior day. Having gone out with nothing but the fancy suit on his back deciding he needed a day off. From everything. Spending day in and day out in the presence of people who’d betrayed him and still never looked at him the same way. The daily occurrence of finding his ex between the legs of the assassin who’d killed his parents. The glares he receives anytime he says a word to Wanda or even glances in her general direction, the hatred he feels coming from her and being completely incapable of doing anything or saying anything in the face of it.

It had become too much.

He'd just needed a break. A break from being Tony Stark. A break from being the man who tore the Avengers apart. A break from Steve and Bucky. A break from being Steve’s ex, the soulmate he hadn't wanted. A break from living as an outsider in his own fucking home. He escaped and took nothing with him to avoid being bothered.

Coming back fully intoxicated, he made a beeline for his lab, locking himself in, grabbing his phone and began parsing through all his missed calls and texts from worried Pepper, Rhodey, Peter, even Harley sent a passive aggressive _“You aren't dead somewhere right?”_ Earning a small smile in response. However what he was subconsciously looking for he didn't find. Unsure of his disappointment when he'd found none of his missed calls or texts had come from Stephen. And here he thought the Wizard _cared_ about him.

Tony went over to his contacts, landing on the one labeled ‘Wizard’, finger hovering over the call button as he contemplated bothering the man at - Tony glanced at the clock unsure of the hour just knowing it was late - three in the morning

His decision was made for him however when his phone began ringing startling him out of his contemplation, making him gasp loudly and nearly dropping the phone. Gathering himself he fumbled a bit before finally answering holding the device up to his ear.

“Tony.” Stephen said in a sigh that sounded relieved, like he'd been worrying about the man, however wouldn't he have called sooner if he'd been worried? Shouldn't his call have been among the list of those Tony had missed?

“Hey mister Wizard,” Tony responded words slurring a bit and he could practically feel the way Stephen tensed, “Tony...have you been drinking?”

“A lil bit.” Tony responded somewhat sheepishly, he had previously told Stephen that he'd stopped drinking on the account of what happened when he'd been dying slowly as a result of the huge magnet in his chest. Ironic that he now found comfort in the thing having put it back in after everything that happened with Steve.

“Are you alright? Where are you right now?” Stephen asked, sounding almost flustered, Tony laughed even though nothing was funny. There was nothing to laugh at. Maybe it was just the absurdity of the question. After all, where else would he be?

“Compound. Lab.”

There was a series of crackling over the line and then he was hearing it beside him, keeping the phone pressed to his ear Tony turned to see Stephen stepping through a portal his phone also held up to his ear. A look of concern on his face.

“What's the point of phones when you can do that amiright?” Tony questioned without missing a beat, raising the phone in the air with a smirk that was odd, slanted, a result of the alcohol running through his system.

Stephen frowned, “Well it certainly can be convenient.” He said though his gaze was flicking between Tony’s eyes as if searching but he didn't know for what nor did he really care.

“As you can see, I'm very ok. Buzzed. But alright. Sloshed. But breathing. Tipsy. But still alive….What’s another word for that?” He thought it over a minute but Stephen answered the offhand comment instead, “Inebriated.”

“Oh yeah that’s a good one!” Tony said, but despite his attempts at reassurance Stephen still seemed unreasonably concerned, frown deep, heavy as though the corners of his lips were weighed down by an invisible force. Tony wondered how he could fix that. Get one of those easy smiles which came to Stephen as though his lips were never meant to do anything but smile like that. At him. At no one else.

“Are you sure?” Stephen asked.

“Sure?” He asked having forgotten what they were discussing, too busy plotting how to make Stephen smile and stop worrying.

“You’re alright?”

“Oh yeah. Perfect. Just chipper. Jovial even.” Tony responded with a sloppy smile to prove his point, softening the expression on Stephen’s face. Not a smile but still a success if he said so himself. Which he does.

“Ok, well then you should talk to Pepper, she called me not long before I called you. She’s worried. All of them are.” Stephen said. “Even Harley” He added.

Tony sighed, “Yep. My phone has all the evidence of their worry.”

“Where’d you go?”

“What?”

“Don’t play stupid Tony. It’s not often that you just drop off the face of the earth for nearly thirty-six hours and come back drunk.” Stephen said a little too sharply.

“Well then you don’t know me. I disappear all the time. You guys just don’t notice.” Tony said wanting to take it back the moment he did realizing too late that they were moving in the wrong direction.

Stephens eyes hardened.

“Usually because we can at least find you. Fuck Tony you just disappeared. Where the hell did you go?” Stephen nearly shouted sounding angry and his voice rang painfully in Tony’s ears.

“Look I just..walked around for the day I guess. I'm not really sure where I went the last thirty or so hours are kind of a blur to me. I just needed to run away for a bit. That's all.” Tony said trying not to sound defensive. But he felt irritated that it wasn't a given that he may want a break. That he may need some time to be just a regular someone. To be anyone but himself.

Stephen deflated a little, he wore an expression that clearly stated he wished to question him more but didn't. Apparently decided he was getting nowhere with a drunk man.

Tony just wanted him to stop being mad.

“You know,” Tony started attempting to redirect the sorcerer’s attention without making it too obvious, “It's a very humbling experience to be a nobody. To not be surrounded by cameras or fans or people looking to rob me. Just being someone amongst the crowd. Neither seen nor heard. It's nice.”

“I suppose. I don't know I've never quite reached the fame you attained so I guess I wouldn't know the difference.” Stephen responded, hesitant but going with the flow of the slight subject change. “Sounds lonely though. To not have anyone see you. No different from being invisible.”

At that Tony smiled wryly, “I'm always invisible here.” He said, no clarification necessary for the _here_. “No less lonely out there than in here. Rather I felt like a regular person for a minute out there.”

Stephen snorted, “Like you could ever handle being a regular person. You'd get bored.”

Tony nodded, “Of course I'm too interesting to be normal all the time. But for the day, it wasn't terrible.” He said, _duhh_ unsaid but clearly implied through his tone.

Stephen finally cracked the smallest of smiles, as though the imagery of Tony as an everyday run-of-the-mill-office worker was so absurd it was comedic.

Success. The man smiled.

The humor was gone as quickly as it appeared, expression solemn. Fail.

“You're really alright?”

Rolling his eyes Tony stepped towards the sorcerer swaying a bit, the world suddenly falling sideways in response to his movement.

The Wizard shifted as though preparing himself to catch Tony should he actually fall but he resolutely stood tall continuing forward. Breaching Stephens personal space he said, “I'm fine. Do I honestly look that bad?”

Stephen wore an expression of a deer caught in headlights, frozen stock still and in his current state Tony didn't care for it. Wanted him to relax. Didn't want him tense. Wanted him to loosen up a bit. In his current state he couldn't respond either so Tony continued speaking, whispering now that he was so close, “I'm perfectly fine. Drunk. But otherwise ok. You can check with Fri if you're so inclined. She can run a body scan and tell you my only problem is the alcohol I previously drank.”

Stephen swallowed and Tony watched the way his Adam's apple bobbed.

Up this close to the man Tony could pick out every individual line time had left on his face. He could perfectly see how sharp his cheekbones were. He could see the different flecks of color in those eyes of his that were magical all on their own. Could follow the line of his jaw. Could touch his lips. Could kiss him.

So he did. Liquid courage rushing through him, promise forgotten.

Tony fell. And Stephen fell with him.

* * * *

Tony was sick. So sick. Stomach roiling. Head pounding. Regretful and wishing to do die, sick.

Even worse was when he opened his eyes to the sight of a very naked wizard sleeping soundly beside him. He decided then that dying right here was all he wanted. Take a few too many pills and fall into oblivion. A fantastic excuse to not acknowledge whatever the hell it was that happened. Though evidence gives him an idea of the previous night’s events.

Really, why couldn't he just die?

Worst of all this, thinking back he couldn't recall a damn thing about the previous night. Nothing. Zip. Nada. The night a blot of pure blackness in his memory.

What had he been thinking? What had happened that led to this outcome? What the hell was he going to do when the sorcerer woke? How could they possibly go back to normal?

That wasn't possible. There was no way.

But what if Stephen thought nothing of it? What would he do then? Pretend? Act? Nothing new. But entirely different situation now. What if it bothers Stephen? What if they can't ever be around each other anymore after this?

What if he fucked everything up with Stephen too?

He didn't know what to do and his head hurt so bad a solution to his current predicament seemed so far off it was impossible to reach.

* * * *

Stephen fucked up. He really fucked up this time. Not an almost. Not a could’ve but didn't. No he was an idiot. He gave in. He relented even though Tony was fucking drunk and so unhappy and probably desperate for comfort of some kind. Any kind.

What kind of person took advantage of someone like that? Apparently he. He was that type of person.

Stephen currently felt like the scum of the earth and hasn't since interacted with Tony. Entrapping himself in blankets of darkness and further layers of cloth. Even the cloak couldn't coax him out of bed.

It's been a month since he last saw the man. Their last interaction awkward and charged and Tony refused to broach the subject of the ...activities they'd previously partaken in. And when Stephen left he felt empty and guilty and honestly felt no better now.

He doesn't know what compelled him to give in. He didn't know why he let himself fall when he'd sworn to himself he wouldn't.

But he did and he doesn't know how to give back what he took. Why is it that he had such a knack for stealing from people he cares about?

* * * *

A week of no interaction of any kind since that night became two. Which became three. Which then became four. Which by then was a month so why not let another day, week, month go by before attempting to break the silence between them?

Ok, it had already been a month so Tony decided to wait yet another month. He didn't want to see Stephen. He didn't want to acknowledge what happened. He didn't want to contemplate his deep affection for the guy and hated that he couldn't even remember the one time he gave in! Nope he didn't want to see him. But even Rhodey wouldn't stop pestering him about it. Asking him what the big deal was. Asking why he was being such a wimp. Saying that a man capable of flying a nuke up into space, of battling a purple psychopath alone, of using the gauntlet, couldn't possibly be so weak as to be defeated by the fear of rejection.

Tony could admit, that he had a good point. However just because it made sense didn't mean he’d actually listen to him.

Besides since what occurred he'd felt the presence of the star in his palm much more fiercely than before. A constant. A perpetual reminder that he wasn't wanted. Why would he risk himself _again?_

So one more month went by.

And then Stephen reached out to him. Appearing in his kitchen one morning as though three months of radio silence didn't exist between them. That an unimaginably large gap hadn't been forged between them. That nothing had changed.

Tony, to his credit, didn't miss a beat. Didn't hesitate to pretend too. To pretend everything was ok. That nothing had changed. At least that's what he did for the first week. But when he went to the kitchen one morning to find the Wizard pacing he decided enough was enough.

“What? Trying to figure out how you'll get through today? Wondering which mask you'll use for me this morning?” Tony asked making for the coffee machine. Ok that was uncalled for he could admit, kicking himself mentally as he poured black liquid into his mug and shoved the pot back into place with a little more fervor than necessary.

Stephen looked confused for a moment, opening his mouth then closing it again, thoroughly contemplating his response before attempting to speak again.

Tony made a sound of impatience earning a glare from the sorcerer who sighed loudly and said, “We need to talk about what happened.”

“That night,” he clarified and Tony rolled his eyes finding the clarification unnecessary and quite frankly, annoying.

“Yeah I got that. What is there to talk about? I don't even remember it.” Tony said and his tone was more biting than he wanted it to be. He was colder than he meant to be.

Stephen’s brows drew together, “You..don't-You don't remember?” He asked and his tone when he did made Tony think perhaps it had mattered. But why? Because he didn't want to lose Tony as a friend? Or because of something else? Did it bother him? That he slept with a guy? Or because he slept with _Tony?_ Because it was Tony he slept with and not his soulmate? Did he feel guilty because of that?

“Nope not a thing. Though I have my guesses regarding what happened.” Tony said winking, but this did nothing to ease the crinkled lines on Stephen's face or earn him one of those early morning smiles. Instead, his expression was unreadable.

“Ok.” Stephen said, “Ok, well I guess I'll just apologize then. I took advantage of you and-”

“Hold on, you’re apologizing? For screwing me? Or was it the other way around? Though I guess then the apology would be a little ridiculous as the one doing the fucking was very drunk but obviously a coherent enough participant to do all the work, unless I was still bottom. But ya know my ass was very sore that morning...” Tony said, cutting the Wizard off half musingly, the other irritated.

First the asshole completely ignores what happened and carries on as though that night _didn’t_ happen, now he was apologizing for it?

Stephen wore a confused expression as though processing what Tony had said was just that difficult, “I-uh-yeah, yes I’m sorry for taking advantage of you. I was sober, I should not have-”

“You are apologizing.” Tony said in confirmation.

Frustrated, Stephen snapped, “Yes. I’m apologizing. And Jesus, this would be a hell of a lot easier if you'd just let me!”

Tony shrugged, “Well the apology is pointless. You didn't take _advantage_ of me. Yeah I was drunk. But the thing about alcohol and me is that the stuff acts like a truth serum. I'm more honest under the influence.”

Confused again it's Stephen’s turn to ask, “What?”

“When I drink I become more truthful.” Tony answered in a condescendingly explanatory tone. “So….in summary whatever I did while drunk I would've done sober.”

Finally, the expression of confusion left the sorcerer’s face replaced instead by some form of understanding, “Oh, uh ok. Ok.”

“Now, is it my turn to apologize?” Tony asked.

“What? Why would you apologize?” Stephen questioned, eyebrows drawn, voice incredulous.

“For advancing when you have a soulmate? For expecting something other than friendship from you? For actually sleeping with you and then forgetting the entire experience? I mean I could go on but I figure those are enough examples?” Tony said, before taking a large gulp of his coffee so as to avoid the expression on Stephen’s face.

“Why are you worried about my soulmate?” The Wizard asked.

Tony set his mug on the counter, “Do you not-uh...well! Not everyone is like me! Most people actually meet their soulmates and it miraculously works out!” He said waving his hand for emphasis on the mark staining his palm.

“Well I’m not most people. I met my soulmate. We tried it. I was a douchebag and screwed it up and I doubt she'd ever take me back even if I were on my knees begging.” Stephen said, but the confusion was gone now. The frustration, the lines of upset on his face smoothed out. The expression soft and open and _god_ Tony was losing track of his own frustration.

“Well? Are you planning to beg?”

“Nope. The disfigured mark on my back doesn't determine anything. Certainly not who I should spend my life with. I consider the thing no more than a glorified birthmark that just so happens to match someone else’s.” Stephen said in a very matter-of-factly tone and suddenly Tony was wondering what the hell he'd been worried about.

“So there isn't anyone waiting for you or vice-versa?” Tony asked, needing the confirmation, after so long thinking Stephen would eventually find and be with whoever it was that shared his mark Tony needed to hear that none of that would happen. That he wasn't the only one who failed with their soulmate. And that maybe, he's still got a chance to make something work. Even if it's absolutely terrifying considering his past experiences. If he could just have the knowledge that Stephen’s soulmate wouldn't play a part in their lives….then maybe he could take that chance.

“No. But-” Stephen paused, hesitant before continuing, the moment passing shortly after occurring leaving the sorcerer serene. Calm. Maybe even resigned, “-I have my eye on someone else anyway. So even if she would take me back. I have no desire to be back.”

Tony cocked an inquisitive eyebrow, “And that someone is..?”

“I think a genius like you can figure it out.” Stephen responded and it was with that statement that Tony realized he'd moved forward. The sorcerer a couple feet away rather than across the room now. Close enough to see every nuance of color in his eyes, the sharp jut of his cheekbones, the stress lines that time left on his face. Smoothed over in the gentleness of his expression.

“I'm going to take a wild guess, and say it's mutual then?”

“If you were hoping to try again alcohol free, then yes.” Stephen answered taking just the smallest step forward.

“Is it just-are you only interested in sex or uh-?” Tony asked wondering if perhaps he was misunderstanding something. If maybe Stephen didn't want _more_ than sex.

Tony couldn't handle that again no matter how badly he wanted it. He couldn't survive being used again.

“I want _you_ Tony. I mean, I want the sex too. But, I want you.” Stephen said.

“I'm really fucked up you know.” Tony said, looking down at their feet, watching the way Stephen’s foot inched just the slightest bit closer. He was trying offer the man an out. Trying to give him a chance to pull away. To escape the insanity that is Tony Stark. To protect himself from the pain of being abandoned...again.

“I think I can handle it.”

“I sometimes run away for prolonged periods of time and drink myself stupid.”

“And I'll forgive you for it. Hell, I’ll go with you. We can disappear together when you can't be yourself anymore.” Stephen said in a soft, reassuring tone.

“My own soulmate didn't even want me.” Tony said.

“That doesn't matter. The idea of soulmates is nothing more than-”

“A set of glorified birthmarks?” Tony finished for him, looking up at Stephen and seeing nothing but warmth staring back at him.

Nodding the Wizard said, “Yes. The matching birthmarks are an anomaly. But they do not hold affection, nor are they magnets which will direct you to your other half.”

The billionaire sighed, “I'm really fucked up, Stephen.” Tony repeated almost desperately.

“I fell for the man who's fucked up. Not the Ironman. And not the guy in the magazines. However if you aren't interested in-”

“No, no. I'm interested. _Very_ interested. I just-”

“Deserved better from him.”

“It wasn't just him.” Tony admitted softly.

“I don't really care, I know the story and he handled things wrong. You deserve better. And I want to be that better for you. If you'll let me?” Stephen said and this made Tony crack the smallest of smiles.

“Better hm? Better how?” He questioned and Stephen while surprised by the response was no less receptive easily gained his bearings and said, “However you want me to be. In case you forgot I'm a very capable wizard and can make any wish come true.”

“Isn't that genies?” Tony asked startling a laugh out of Stephen, “What?”

“Genies. You know, the blue guy that pops out of the lamp the monkey stole? You know Robin, but blue with a beard and no legs? Don't they grant wishes?”

“Yes, but wizards can grant wishes too and aren't restricted to only three.” Stephen said.

“Well, then are you going to be the Wizard that grants all my wishes?” Tony asked, the inflections of his tone more serious, more hopeful. Some distant part of him didn't want Stephen to confirm his feelings. Didn't want Stephen to love him. Didn't want to take the chance and screw this up too. But every other part of him wanted Stephen so much it was nearly painful.

“I can be.” Stephen said and that was all he needed to hear. No need for the other three words. Just that the sorcerer supreme would _try_ to be what Tony needed was enough. Would do his best, would be warm, and kind, _trustworthy_. There was no question now.

“Ok, but I have one question.” Tony said, reaching out to grab the folds of Stephen's clothes, his usual attire which really looked like something a ninja would wear made even more amusing to look upon with the cape. The animated fabric of which during the whole conversation had been strangely still. But no matter that was of little importance to Tony as he gently pulled the Wizard closer. Breaching every barrier until nothing else stood between them but their clothes.

“Alright.” Stephen said following Tony’s lead but quite obviously utterly confused.

“Who was bottom?” Tony asked extremely seriously.

Stephen blinked, and then he frowned, and then he laughed, an easy laugh that only came out in the early morning. The sound of which was like rain pattering against the windows, or the softest brush of a breeze through the trees, it was a gentle sound. A kind, warm, calming sound that Tony wished could be only his to hear.

“Really though, was it me? I really think it was me.” Tony said inching just the slightest bit closer, rising on his toes, lips level with an easy smile, the sorcerer said, words hitting Tony’s mouth as they left Stephen's, “I could always show you.”

“Now you're talking my language.” Tony said and when they kissed he knew this wouldn't be something he forgot anytime soon. It was slow, and sweet, just the press of warmth against warmth. Lips to lips, interlocking and moving together. There was no forcefulness like with Steve. Steve who took and took and never gave anything back. Never returned what he stolen even after he'd left.

Stephen was careful, slow with his ministrations and by the time they were both undressed Tony didn't even know when exactly they'd left the kitchen or how they'd reached this point so fast.

Or perhaps it hadn't been fast at all, instead taken hours. Stephen pulling him apart in slow increments, enjoying every bit he got to see, touch, and taste. Tony did so himself in equal measure, touching, and kissing everywhere to make up for the previous time when he'd been too drunk to remember.

Tony fell. And Stephen fell right alongside him.

And for once. Neither of them was afraid.

* * * *

“It looks like a hand.” Tony said, half sprawled over Stephen’s back, fingers tracing lines over his flesh. Scrutinizing it as though the expanse of his back was just that interesting.

Stephen frowned not sure at all what the man was talking about, “I’m afraid I don't understand?”

“The mark.” Tony said, fingertips finding the area where the mark was stained into his skin, the soulmate mark.

“What makes you say that?” Stephen asked.

“The general shape. It almost looks like a broken hand.” Tony mused and for a moment Stephen contemplated it himself.

What broke apart his relationship with Christine was his hands. His hands that had been shattered and put back together with metal. His hands that were forever damaged and hurt constantly. His hands which were broken and irreparable.

“Yours is a funny looking star isn't it?” Stephen asked, Tony shifted behind him moving up to look at the Wizard’s face, “Yep! One funny looking star.” He answered, showing his palm to the sorcerer who wore an expression of realization.

Furrowing his brow slightly Tony asked, “What?”

“It’s nothing,” Stephen said before shifting into a seated position, taking Tony's hand in his, and proceeding to press his lips to the discolored place of flesh.

“Ok, well this has been great, and it turns out I'm a super wimp, but it's ok. We’ve figured it out. You're my Wizard and I'm you’re fucked up insomniac! Anyway I have things to do today like apologize to Pepper for missing that something or other she needed me for,” Tony said.

 _“A press conference. It was at 9:00, however it is currently 11:12. I have already sent her a message explaining you were caught up in...other activities.”_ Friday supplied.

“Ah yes, Fri, thank you.” Tony said, “And I can expect to see you again-?”

“I think tonight at eight, a proper first date is in order I believe.” Stephen answered.

“Sounds good, and uh, no alcohol this time,” Tony said with a wink as he slid himself free of Stephen’s hold and left the bed, made way for the bathroom.

And it was as Stephen listened to sound of the water turning on that he thought, _perhaps these marks do lead us to our soulmates. Just not the way everyone else seems to think._

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so if you read this far I really hope it was worth the time spent. Do tell me what you thought about the story! I like to think I did well enough but feedback is always helpful! Thanks for reading and again I hope you enjoyed!


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